People Shared The Worst Date They’ve Been On In New York And Boy, Oh Boy, They’re A Doozy

July 14, 2017

The possible thief:

We went to a Nets game, and at halftime I went to get us more beers. When I came back, he had completely left Barclays and all my stuff was missing. I promptly returned to his hotel in Midtown to try to get my stuff, but the hotel staff couldn’t get in touch with him. I’m informed that the best thing to do is to call the cops. So, I do. I report my date for stealing my property and ask them to come to the hotel and get my stuff back. Meanwhile, he waltzes into the lobby carrying McDonald’s acting like he didn’t know who I was or that he had just left me in Brooklyn.

The armed robber:

I met a guy at a bar one night who seemed cool; we flirted for a bit and exchanged numbers. I went on a date with him a week later and found out he was on parole for attempted robbery (which I eventually remembered hearing about on the news). He had no problem telling me about the incident in detail and even had the nerve to act like he wasn’t in the wrong

The licker:

I went out with a guy I met on a dating app. He spent a solid 10 minutes talking in great detail about how his mom once had a terrible vaginal prolapse. When I “suddenly” had to get home and started heading for the subway stairs, he went to kiss me, but I turned my head away and he wound up licking my face.

The mansplainer:

I’m a native New Yorker and a teacher; he was from Florida and an accountant. He spent the entire dinner explaining how the NYC public school system (the same system I had spent 13 years of my life in as a student and several years as a teacher) works and what the problems with it are. The waitress didn’t even offer us a dessert menu. I think she could sense how much I wanted to get out of there.

The possible murderer:

I went on a first date with a guy who wanted to do something unusual, so he took me to Roosevelt Island in the dead of winter to explore. There was no one around as it was so cold. During our frigid walk, he stopped and stared at the river, then asked, “I wonder how many dead bodies a year wash up here?” I legit thought I was on a date with a murderer. He repeatedly texted me after that date to say what a wonderful time he had and how he wanted to go out again. Hard pass!